Just hold on a little longer
by Freckle359
Summary: All it took was one look and suddenly... Everything went wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Dig. Dig. Dig. Dig.

The pain started to grow slowly at first. Annoying little pressure points that crawled along his skin before it became harder, heat starting to flare out. Roughly the nails pressed and moved, bringing out the red flesh until the raw wounds began to welt, nerves pulsing. His mind began to worry, sending messages of alerts, commands to stop the growing feeling, to bring the movement to the end.

But he couldn't.

Harder. Dig. Dig.

His voice cracked in protest, his bright eyes growing wide when his body suddenly shot up from his bed. His bare feet, moving across the cold ground began to pace, back and forth, to one side of the white room to another. This was wrong, no. This made no sense. His breath started to become quick and short, panic setting in. The padding on the walls, they suddenly started to seep black, goo dripping down. He tried to cry out but his voice was lost to the pain that shot up his arms, ripping at the muscles of his forearms. Closing his eyes, he tried to stop, try to cry out for help. Throat closing off, lungs squeezing out the air left inside. He was drowning again in the black water. Rushing forward, his body slammed into the wall, hands touching, brushing, and moving across the surface.

Stop! He wanted to yell. Help me! But nothing could come out, no matter how much he tried. Pulling away, stepping backwards he looked up and went still in shock. The black stains were wiped clean, leaving only the white padded walls once again but there was something else on them. Something bright and red.

A name written crudely dripped before his eyes.

Suddenly imagines began to flare up behind his eyes. So many faces, his body started to shake as his brain went into overload. So many voice shouting all at once for his attention, crying out a name he did not know. His hands quickly touched his ears, trying to cut off the sound, trying to silence the voice that kept whispering to him. Why? Why were those eyes hunting him?

Green eyes kept following him, no matter where he ran. He rushed to the door of his room, smacking it with his fist, grunting out his discomforted, his plea but no one could hear him. Turning back to the room, fear began to curl around his spine when his noticed what was different in his room. Just a moment ago, his room was white and clean but now, the walls were covered with red. Crud writing of the same word over and over, big and small, dripping thin lines slowly down to the floor. How? How did this happen? He was the only one in the room. Trembling hands rose to brush threw his hair but his eyes caught the different color his fingers had.

Thumbs brushing along finger tips testing, feeling the wet liquid before suddenly noticing the faintest sound of water. It was a slow dripping sound, impacting the ground at his feet. His arms stretched out before him and finally, his voice came out loud and clear.

His forearms were tore open, bleeding freely. He shook his head, the pain hitting him full force. The cuts were thin and small but there were many, going in every direction. His fingertips held the clues, his eyes spying little bits of skin in his nails, enough to make his stomach roll and bile rise up and land on the floor. He gagged and fell to his knees in the mess, his hands reaching out to stop himself, to hold his body up as it hunched and arched in his dry heaves.

The door to his room slammed open then, knocking into his legs causing him to cry out and crawl away. Two people in blue scrubs ran in, two male reaching for him as he cried out in panic, his arms covering his face. They touched him, pulling him back to his shaking feet but he tried to fight them off, his voice ripping out from his raw throat in a plea. He wanted them to let him go, leave him alone! They were going to take him to the lake! They push and tugged, one way to another until his body was slammed into his bed, one of the two men landing down onto, immobilizing his upper body and arms but he still tried, his feet kicking, trying to throw him off. They called out and a quick prick to his hip made him go still. His body was starting to get heavy right then, limbs filling up with sand, dragging him down into the darkness of sleep. He groaned out, head rolling to the side on the mattress, eyes lids struggling to stay open. 'N-No.' He grunted out, if he slept he would be there.

The man with those cold green eyes.

The orderlies slowly let him go when he went completely still. One checked his pulse to make sure it was steady and slow while the other began to grab the sheets, pressing them into the seeping wounds on the patient forearms. They looked to one another worriedly, unsure and confused. Once they deemed the man to be stable for now, they turned to look at the floor, one of the orderly swore while the other covered his mouth in disgust.

A name written in blood covered every inch of the walls. Repeated over and over again that one of the orderly mutter.

' Dean?'

The other shook his head at the question, 'I have no idea.. come on. We need to get him treated.' And with that, they began to work.


	2. Chapter 2

The lake was boiling.

Steam was rising up towards the blood red sky, disappearing into the black clouds. Sounds began to grow, crying, screaming to his ears. A dark chuckle sent a jolt up Sam's spine causing him to turn around quickly, his wide hazel eyes staring at the face of his nightmares, of his pain. Lucifer smirked behind him, those cold dead eyes watching him, pale dry lips cracking to a toothy grin, baring his fangs. Sam's breathing began to quicken, his mind screaming at him to run but his legs were rooted to the ground in fear. He tried to fight, to blink him away but Lucifer just came closer, reaching out with his blood covered hand to touch him and Sam flinched away, quickly grabbing his hand his scarred hand to squeeze, to beg for it to work this time but his nightmare just laughed out loudly, his hands grabbing his hair pulling him down, sending a strike of fear and pain into his stomach.

"I'm not going anywhere bitch."

The rotten smell of his breath caused Sam to gag and as Lucifer reached his free hand to collect his hair as well, something shoved into his side knocking him to the ground. In a blink of an eye, the sky suddenly went back to blue; Lucifer disappeared from beside him leaving him alone upon a grassy patch of land. Beads of sweat rolled down his temple, his body shaking. He didn't even feel the quick wet tongue lapping at his face or the little whimpers in his ear until he felt the same heavy object shove him back down. His mind jolted back and his eyes widen at the golden retriever that stood above him whimper, its wet nose poking at his chin before it kissed his face again. Sam pulled away, finding himself laying flat on the ground. The dog was huge; it must have knocked him down. Reaching up, he touched the thick yet soft fur, pushing it away so he could sit up.

The dog bounced around him then, panting out happily to see him respond. A bark and it attacked his face again, its body pressing into him in its own way of a hug. Normally Sam would have smiled and played, enjoying the attention from one of his most favorite of animals. Yet right then, he couldn't bring himself to feel that joy, his heart was still racing, still in fear that Lucifer would appear again. He was getting out so easily now since Sam let him in, Sam broke that little wall to cast his nightmare away in hopes to find Dean and it cost him greatly. Lost in his thought again, the wet nose poked his cheek making him blink, looking back into the brown eyes of his new friend.

"Where did you come from?"

"Buggy!"

Sam turned to look around, his eyes searching the park he had ran to in a way of relaxing. They were back at stage one… Sam had offer to drive, so Dean could sleep and they could get through this city with no trouble but Dean wouldn't have it. It took a lot and inside, Sam felt a little pride when Dean told him they were bunking down in a motel and he was going to 'step out'. He knew where his brother was going, he would go too but Dean needed this. He needed to let go of Castiel. Sam knew being alone was dangerous, idly thinking leads to Lucifer popping out and taking control again. So putting his work out sweats on, he ran. He ran until his lungs burned and his body dripped in sweat, he ran until his legs tightened and twitched his throat closing up to his breath and eyes sting from the air. He would not let Lucifer back in, he would fight this and build that wall back up.

He was going to make it.

When his body could no longer take it, he found himself at a park, other joggers passing by with a wave or a nod of their head while others simply enjoyed the nature. Sam stopped to a walk to regain the energy he forced out and let his eyes wonder to the small lake and that's when Lucifer attacked him.

Closing his eyes a little, he petted the dog giving it a small smile muttering, "I owe you there buddy." The dog simply pawed at his arm, giving him another air kiss before backing up, rushing around him playfully. Pushing back to his feet, his hands quickly brushing the dirt and grass from his legs, he chuckled at the dog who simply hopped onto his hind legs, letting out another bark. "Where's your owner?"

"Buggy! I hear you boy, get back over here!"

The dog, 'Buggy', Sam assumed just barked again, his thick golden hair tail waving happily behind him. Looking back out, Sam raised a brow to a new figure rushing at him. He had to admit, that was nice. It was a women running at him, her face red in embarrassment and outrage. Thick dark hair, the sun made it look black but he could see the strikes of brown, was pulled back into a bun where little curly strands seem to be falling out. Her body was dressed in her own work out uniform, not hiding the curves to her body which Sam kind of enjoyed secretly. Black yoga pants hugged her hips and thighs from what he could see since it seemed she wore a light jacket tied around her hips the pants cutting off at her knees letting tan skin show to her shoes. A black tank stuck to her chest, along with the gray sports bra she had put on under it. Sam gave her a small smile when she got close enough, letting him see her brown eyes. She was very pretty, Sam knew if Dean was next to him, his brother would whip out one of his best pick up lines.

Reaching out, her hands took the bright blue collar on the dog, pulling him away from Sam. "I am SO sorry." She confessed quickly, "I just turned around for a second to say hi to someone and he got away from me. He didn't hurt you did he?" Sam shook his head, reaching down to pet the dogs' head that enjoyed it by allowing his tongue to slide out. "I'm fine, I don't mind. I kind of have a soft stop for dogs." She gave a deep sigh, happy to know he had not come to any harm before she knelt beside her pet, taking his floppy ears in her hands making him look at her. "And you.' She huffed, "You know better, when we get home, I'm taking your pig's ear away." Sam was impressed, Buggy whimpered at that like he could completely understand what his owner was stating. They must have been together for some time. "What's his name?"

Her fingers let his ears go to ruffle his fur around his neck, bringing him closer so she could smack a kiss to his forehead. "June bug." She answered, letting him hear a hint of a southern twang. "Buggy for short, my granddad use to call me that all the time when I visited him."

"Texas?"

"Close, Alabama. I'm one of them blue blooded southern."

He chuckled at that, "Aren't you a bit far from home?" Pushing to her feet, her hands planted themselves onto her hips; Buggy took his spot at her side, joining her in staring up. "You can only take so much cowboys." He nodded to her words more amused at her tone. She was letting her accent out full force in that line. Wiping his hand quickly on his jacket to try and rid some of the dirt that stayed before offering it out. "I'm Sam and I can assure you. I'm not a cowboy. Never rode a bull in my life."

He watched her flash a toothy smile to him, her hand reaching out to take his own but at the last second she snatched her hand away, letting his fingers grasp only air. "I'm April." She answered, laughing weakly, "Sorry, I can't…touch you." Sam frowned a little before looking back at his hand, wondering if there was mud or something gross on it. "… Is it cause I smell?"

She let out a loud laugh at that, Buggy seemed to enjoy it cause he let out a bark to it, his paws patting at the grass happily. "No! No, sorry. Lord I'm being rude. I would 'love' to touch you, it's not every day I get to met a fella as tall as you." She gave him a playful wink which he took happily, giving her a broad smile showing off his dimples. The sight made her cheeks flush before she quickly waved her hand at him. "Oh now that's not fair. Showing them off, your making me break my own vow."

"Sorry, what do you mean vow?"

"Well, it's not really a vow as more as it's a rule. I can't touch anybody unless I'm at work. Makes things a lot easier on myself."

"What is it you do?"

A thin brow rose up on her face as her fingers rose to touch the tiny smile on her lips. "You're not from around here are you?"

"Just passing by, might stay a day or two depending."

She nodded to those words before reaching down, collecting one flap of her jacket that brushed at her knees. Digging into the pocket, she pulled out a card, handing it over. "Well Sam. If you ever find yourself bored and in 'need' of my touch," He flushed at little at her tease, taking her card from her gentle grip. "Then you should stop by my place. I'm sure Buggy here would love the company." On cue Buggy let out a loud bark, moving over to paw at Sam's leg before returning to her side. With a chuckle, she patted Buggy's neck, taking off back down the sidewalk, her voice carrying out. "Come on Buggy, It was a pleasure meeting you Sam!"

Sam stood there watching her ran off, her dog jogging at her heels happily. He pressed his lips a little in thought before glancing down at the card, his head tilting at the lettering. "Huh.." He stated bemusedly.

"Ms. April Roberson. Psychic…"


	3. Chapter 3

'I thought you would come back… You always come back.'

With a deep breath, Dean clutched the dirty tan trench coat with strong hands. There he was; he could do this. Just a couple of steps, a few words and just...let it go. Lifting his head, taking his eyes away from the lifeless fabric, he looked onto the lake that hunted his dreams. The rusted gate locked tight with a brand new chain, signs warning people to stay away, that the lake was no a safe place to be. Isn't that the truth?

Squeezing the coat one more time, he set it aside and broke the lock, pushing the gate open to let him squeeze through. He could do this. He thought about this for a long time, he needed closure. He needed to let go. Sam needed him now more than ever and looking back into the past, mourning over someone that you cared for was not helping his brother. He needed to get over this hump, get back on track and get those slimy bastards who killed his friend and find a way to save Sam before it was too late.

Every step he took, his heart began to sink with dread. Flash backs lightening his brain causing his eyes to sting. He could still see him, Cas walking into that lake, arms open to the air, black ooz dripping from him until he was pulled under, never to resurface again. Dean wanted so badly to run in after him, to dive in and pull him back out, to save him but with a step towards the edge, he saw Castiels coat and the dam holding his emotions in check crashed and he felt fear and panic. His best friend was gone.

So there he was at the edge of that lake where everything went so wrong so quickly. Looking out, Dean couldn't help the pain that his chest felt. The lake was so still, so dark and held the only remains of his angel. Bowing his head, he gave the coat one last squeeze before speaking out, his voice horse and cracking in his struggle to control his emotions.

"You always come back…" He stated. "You're like impossible to kill. First the archangel with Chuck then with Lucifer, I swear of all people I really did put money down that you would still be there in the end…" Tucking the coat under his arm, letting his free hand dig into his coat pocket to retrieve Bobby's old flask he used none stop a while ago.

"I guess this time… it's for real." Lips pressed, his eyes glancing away from the lake in a need to keep the tears he felt at bay. He could do this, he can say goodbye. He did it to everyone else, aside from Bobby. No, that was a nerve to deep for him to touch, to raw to even come close to. Cas was the same, he didn't want to look, to see, to accept the fact he was gone. He was an angel for fuck sakes, hell he was GOD for a time and Dean just figured he would pop back up, look at him with those confused blue eyes and ask him stupid questions or go all 'holier than thou' but it never happened.

"I prayed… Every night", taking a shaky breath, his fingers stiff as they twist the cap off the flask. "When Sam is sleeping or pretending… I prayed to you… Okay yeah, at first was so I could kick your ass for what you did to Sam. God Cas, he's…. He's not doing to good. It's gotten worse and I-I don't know what to do. What can I do? The hand thing isn't working, he jumps at everything. I feel… I feel like I'm losing him… So I prayed… You bastards owe me; you fucked my life up royally so I prayed for this one thing. Bring you back, help me fix Sam. Help me fix this problem you opened. Just…Help me…"

Bowing his head again, his eyes roaming along the lake's surface, his arm began to reach out, holding the flask above the rippling water. "I guess I got my answer." He whispered. "Cas…." Clenching his teeth, tipping the flask onto its side until it poured the remaining whiskey out, joining the dark waters below til there was nothing left. "For you…."

Squeezing the object tightly, he brought it back to himself, twisting the cap back on and hiding it back in his coat pocket. "I'm sorry… That I didn't see it." Taking the coat back in both hands, he slowly dropped to one knee by the edge, his thumbs brushing along the wrinkled lapels. "I should have tried man, you know? I should have seen this coming and helped you. Shit, the things I said. I was just angry, it's no excuse but I thought you of all people knew better. What I said to you, back at that house when we trapped you in the holy fire. I was pissed off. Sammy and I did the same; we made deals with demons and fuck, even Bobby but YOU. Damn it Cas, I didn't want you too… I didn't want you to be like us, you're an angel, you can do anything and if you asked for my help. I would have given it to you!"

"… Then again… When I think about it, I think you did and I was just to shit faced to see it. To wrapped up in my own problems, with Sam, with Bobby, that I just didn't see your struggle…." Laying the coat down at his feet, Dean took a long look upon the fabric, remembering how it laid so neatly and clean on his friend. With one last touch, Dean leaned back away from it and revealed his lighter, flicking the cap open and with a strike of his thumb, an orange flame danced in his grasp.

He can do this.

Closing his eyes a little, he began to lower it to the coat.

"Good bye Cas…"

"What are you doing?"

The sudden shout jerk Dean from his thoughts. Flicking the cap back on to put out the flame before it touched the coat, letting him stand and turn to the intruder. Behind Dean, a man stood, hands on the broken gate in outrage. By the state of his clothes which was a blue jumpsuit and a tool belt wrapped around his thick hips. Dean figured it was a field worker. Shit. The man removed his cap, staring at the broken lock in dismay before turning his outrage glare to Dean. "What are you doing in here? This place is off limits."

"Yeah sorry." Dean made a little laugh, "I was just..passing by. Saw the gate open, yeah I'll head out."

Dean was quick to reach back down and pick up the coat, brushing the dirt from the fabric. The worker just sighed deeply, rubbing his wrinkled forehead in frustration "Damn kids. If I ever find out who's been doing this, I'm going to rip their asses apart." Dean let out a chuckle at that, making his way over, stepping past the worker as the man held the gate open. "This been happening a lot lately?"

The man just shrugged. "Pretty much, normally it's not a big deal. Kids just like to hang out here but after what happened a few months ago, the towns been a bit on edge."

"What happened?"

The worker pulled the gate back to a close, removing the broken lock with a frown, Dean figured he was going to have to buy a new one. "Not from around here huh?" The worker asked and Dean just gave his cheeky smile with a shrug of his shoulders. "Nah, just passing through."

"It's a small town." The worker replied before brushing his hands on his thighs to clean the rust from them. "Well, a couple of months ago I found a guy in there. Looked pretty bad, for a second thought there had been an accidently drowning."

"Was he okay?"

"Barely." The man grumbled, slipping is cap back onto his balding head. "He was breathing thou, so I got him to the hospital. No one knew the guy. We put up a missing person's report about him. Figured he was one of those, city boys, and ran into some bad luck."

Dean was in a daze, his heart beating faster and faster. No, he can't. He just accepted this sad fate, there was no way this can happen yet there he was, his chest expanding, his voice screaming on the inside of his head in hope, in a pure raw need to let it happen.

"Did he wake up?'

The worker sighed a little at that, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, from what I heard the cops tried to get some info out of him but the guy must have been air deprived for too long. He couldn't remember anything. Not his name, why he was in the lake. Nothin. Guy kept saying the same thing over and over again until he was healed up then the doctors shipped him off to the mental institute."

"Wait, you sent him where?"

"The towns institute. The guy wasn't in his right mind. One of my friends was working in the hospital fixing an vent and he told me he saw the guy running down the hallway yelling out somebody's name over and over again. Freaky thing was, apparently he walked by the children ward and there was a costume party goin on and the guy snagged a pair of angel wings and just went crazy. Kept saying, 'I'm sorry,' and demanding he be let go so he can get to this 'Dean' fellow. Almost knocked a couple of nurse's out when they tried to take the wings off him so once they got him to calm down, they shipped him off to the loony bin. Poor bastard."

Dean couldn't hear anything but the rushing water in his ears. His nerves went on high alert; his brain was screaming his legs to unlock and run, to dive in the car and drive. DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE!

"… Where is this institution exactly?"


	4. Chapter 4

'I still hear them…'

Patient number four stared out the gleaming window to his right, the sunlight beaming through the glass surface to the floor, its light stretching out to touch him in his chair of shadows. It was calming, watching the dust float in the air, dancing along the beams of light, letting his tired eyes watch aimlessly. It was Tuesday, which meant it was his time with his therapist. He talked to her every Tuesday and Thursday, group therapy was on Wednesdays and Friday. She was an older woman with graying hair and a pinched face, she didn't look all to please to see him, and perhaps it was because even after months of talking with her, they were nowhere close to figuring out what became of him or who he was. He would feel bad for her but he was just too tired to feel it. Not anymore.

"Hear what?" She asked, her fingers tapping her pen lightly upon her clipboard where she wrote down meaningless notes. "The voices." He sigh, his head rolling back to let his eyes trace along the ceiling, taking in the details over and over again. "There's two sometimes, maybe three. The third one is older thou, and has a habit of calling the other unpleasant names."

"Do you know these voices? Do they sound familiar to you in anyway?"

Lowering his head to her words, his lips made a slow frown, fingers touching the clean white bandages that covered his forearms. Those claw marks he put upon himself without knowing, the wounds that had pulsed and pained him were gone, healed over night in what the doctors could only claim to be a miracle. For himself, it was nothing. He was different, he could feel it. No matter what type of injury he got or suffered. A busted nose from falling, a scraped knee, and paper cut to his hands or even just a bruise. His body healed it within hours. At first it freaked him out and the doctors became worried, so they reached out, seeking someone outside the building, outside their medical degree who could solve this mystery. Someone who could reach into his blank mind and pull something out aside darkness and emptiness to answer all of their problems.

The person they brought to him was sweet and kind. A sinking feeling of guilt filled his heart when he remembered the incident that fell upon her because of him.

"Who is Dean?"

He shook his head helplessly, fingers curling into his knees. "I don't know."

"You wrote that name all over your room, you must know 'something'."

"I don't know." He repeated, his pain sunken eyes looking up to her in a need for her to understand. He didn't know why he did it, why that name was so important that he had to write it down. " I think.. It's the name of green eyes."

"The green eyes you've been seeing when you sleep?"

"I don't sleep… "

She hummed to him and wrote on her clipboard again, nodding to herself. Soon their time was over and she reminded him of their next, another hour or staring at one another with a effortless hope of progress. Stepping into the hallway, he began to return to his room, he was given a new one since his old one was being redone. Half way down, a nurse stepped into his path and stopped him with a gentle touch to his shoulder.

He had a visitor.

He was confused by this and followed along. His brain was rattling in thoughts of who it could be. There most likely has been a mistake; the chances were slim now that someone from his past would step forward to help him. News reports have gone out even a police bulletin and yet, no one stepped over. He was alone and slowly, day by day, he was starting to accept it. Yet that didn't stop the flutter of something in his heart when he stepped into the visitor area.

He began to search, his eyes resting upon every person within the room to see if any face jumped at him. He made it all the way to the middle of the room, a table towards the back wall when a body sat, a wide grin catching him off guard. His feet shuffled a little before he began to approach, watching a friendly wave be given to him.

April leaned back in her chair, one hand waving at the empty one to her side that he took silently. "Hey there Blue eyes." She greeted. His eyes went to her hair, seeing the dark brown thick locks curling out around her face and shoulder, a purple satin head wrap tied about her head, making her look more of the part of a physic. The fabric was tied under her right ear, letting the tail hang down loosely over her shoulder. She was dressed in her street clothes, a nice top of roses and lace with a pair of dark denim jeans. The last time he saw her, she was wearing a long flowie skirt of burnt orange, her flat stomach was bare and a dark green half top was tied tightly over her bust. Some men found her pleasant to look upon in that kind of attire but he, himself, preferred her like this. Normal, simply. Lovely.

"Did we have an appointment today?"

She shook her head to him, leaning forward to rest her chin upon her palms. "I had free time so I wanted to come by and check on you."

"That is not necessary of you."

"I know that."

His nick name, Blue eyes, that she had gleefully place upon him when they first came to know one another. A couple weeks ago, when his healing abilities had first begun the doctors reached out to someone to help them. That person was April the towns physic. He looked upon her the first time confused and utterly shocked at her attire, unsure of why she was showing off so much skin. His uneasiness towards her melted a little to her smiling face and humor, reminding him of something, perhaps someone, he could not picture. She had explained her plan to reach into his mind and see if she could find his block and get out his memories. She was finally going to answer his questions, were his memories there locked away or were they truly gone.

With another gentle smile, she told him to hold still and relax. Her hands were warm and soft, cupping his face gently letting him lean into the touch. She brought him closer to her, his head tilting down to her height so their foreheads could touch.

Everything happened in a flash. In a blink of an eye he was in his room, standing face to face with April and the next, he was on the floor with nurse's surrounding him to keep him still. He asked what happened, how did he come to be on the floor and where was April?

They allowed him to sit up a little and let him see. Across from him, April was limp in a pair of arms, voices rising up to get her attention. He feared the worse; did he somehow unknowingly kill her? A sudden shout from a nurse made him look up and watch with the others as a strange event took place, leaving him to sit and stare in horror and in awe.

"Your hair… It seems to be back to normal."

April blinked for a moment before letting out a laugh, her fingers picking up a brown lock to twirl happily between them. "Nothin a tub of dye can't fix! Now I simply have to maintain it so my roots don't show so I may fool the others."

"It's permanent?"

"Seems to be the case Blue eyes."

His shoulder sank, his eyes glancing down to the table top with a frown. When he saw her on the floor, she was knocked out but her hair, once dark chestnut brown, so healthy and curly was pure white. No one could explain it, not even April herself when she came too.

" I'm sorry."

"Why? It's not your fault."

He looked down, knowing full well it was, somehow it was. As he swirled in his own pool of guilt, her knuckles rapped on the table lightly before her voice squeaked out. "I want to try again."

His head shot up surprised.

She looked away from his shocked expression to press her own lips. "I really think I was close to something." Fingers curling into palms, she turned her chair to face him fully, letting her eyes bore into his own. "There is something there Blue eyes. I felt it, when I went into your subconscious I swore I heard your voice calling out for someone. There is a wall there, it's very strong and when I touched it I felt something…Sad… I want to try again."

"If you did, something worse might happen."

"It's a risk yes but unlike other physics out there. I 'listen.' "April gave him a cheesy grin, tapping her right forefinger to her own ear to state that fact. " Blue eyes, when I touched your wall, I pushed really hard and I felt something slip and when it did, I heard this voice tell me to close my eyes. So I did, my fingers slipped through and I felt something, I can't even explain what it was but I felt it and it... was you. I know it. I'm not completely sure how my hair turned white, normally that happens when you get really scared but there was no feeling of that." Raising her left hand, she reached out and hovered her fingers over his forehead, itching to touch his skin, to sink back in but waiting for him to say so. She was giving him a chance to let her try again and perhaps this time, maybe they'll get an answer. Maybe they can find out who 'Dean' was or even what his real name is. Yet as he thought, he looked past her hand to her face and all he could see was her unconscious face. It was a risk yes, it was too much to risk over her, not after how sweet she has been on him.

As sad as it was, she was one of the only people he could really call a friend, even thou they only met a few times, he felt oddly safe with her and at ease vs. with others whom made him stiffen and wish to disappear.

"…I can't..." He answered, "I can't do that to you."

"Blue ey-"

"Please." Reaching up, his fingers touched her sleeve covered forearm, lowering her hand from his face. "… If something happened to you I could not forgive myself."

Her lips pouted a little, her hand resting gently on the table top. With a nod, she accepted his answer making him relax and release the tension he built up. He lifted his hand from her forearm but it was stopped by her right, her fingertips touching his palm and lowered his hand back onto her, his cold flesh suddenly warmed by her body heat. He looked at her startled for a moment before she gave her cheeky smile, leaning forward to whisper lowly that he bent forward as well to hear.

"I'm not a newbie Blue eyes. I've touched you before so I can touch you again without looking. Took a lot of practice thou; kind of miss touching people without having their life and secrets shoved into my face."

He raised a thick brow to her as she stroked his palm, her eyes looking away to the surrounding room, letting them enjoy the soft silence and each other's company. He was oddly okay with this and let his hand relax on her fingers, his thumb grazing the fabric.

"Just so you know, I'm still gonna come and visit ya."

"You don't have too."

"I know but I'm a sucker for men with blue eyes."

A heartbeat later, his lips twitched slowly into a soft smile.


End file.
